All this bloviation is enough to give you cramps

By Ivan Morgan

With apologies to Eddie Sheer.
Weather is a constant subject of conversation in these parts. We all know the old saying, ‘if you don’t like the weather…’
This is not a weather report; I leave that to the professionals. This is a political weather report. Usually, if you don’t like the political climate, you have to wait far longer than five minutes. This is a special year where we get a chance to effect political climate change.
While we can effect change, we are also going to be buffeted by the political climate.
Summer can bring good weather, but it can also bring hurricanes. In the political climate there are different kinds of hazards. They may not blow your trees down, but they can blow your mind. One of the greatest is bloviation (pronounced, I am told, blow-vee-ashun). (A clever person of my acquaintance introduced me to this word and it’s currently my favourite.)
Coined during an American presidential campaign one hundred years ago, it refers to the art of politicians speaking for as long as the occasion warrants without actually saying anything. We have all been exposed to that. An even more delicious (and dare I say accurate) definition is “an army of pompous phrases moving over the landscape in search of an idea.”
We Newfoundlanders have been buffeted by bloviation for centuries, but we’re a hardy folk and have survived it (See? It sounds good and means nothing). This year I predict bloviation off the charts. Loins are going to have to be girded and hatches battened down to get through this. Any hope, optimism or reason will be sorely tested.
Regular weather forecasters have a map which weather people use to show where fronts are moving in from. I suspect you and I will be buffeted by bloviation from every which way.
It will be the order of business. As a public service let me offer a long-range political forecast, which I fear won’t be much more reliable than long-range regular weather forecast, but here goes.
The federal campaign will have some bloviation, but it will be mostly hate-based, with the Liberals and NDP trying to paint Pierre Pollievre as another Trump, and Pollievre trotting out nastiness about them, and the NDP assuring everyone they have the answer to all our problems. All three will be big on those issues but short on actual solutions. Pompous phrases sweeping the political landscape in search of ideas.
It’s hard to bloviate much at the municipal level, as it’s closest to the ground and based on bricks and mortar, but some will try.
The provincial campaign I suspect will be another matter. First, we will all have to suffer through the Liberal leadership race to replace Furey – himself a master of bloviation.
We will still be wringing out our brains and drying our souls over the woodstove when we will be hit with the provincial election. It ain’t gonna be pretty.
Here are some examples from our recent past of the best (worst?) provincial bloviation. I offer them without party affiliation to point out how little parties matter. Ask yourself as you read them if any of it has lowered your grocery bill. Power bill? Rent? Fuel? Or anything else that actually matters to you and me?
“We are indeed facing a challenge. But we are also facing immense opportunity. All we need is the courage to step towards it together.”
“Our communities are where we live, work, share, and support each other. Our community is where we grow up, build friendships, and learn about the importance of volunteering. It is where our families are.”
“The journey is long, and the obstacles great. But as heirs to the guts, grit, and determination of our ancestors, we will unleash the promise of this our home and native land, and the fullness of her potential.”
If I have any influence I would advise you, gentle reader, to corner any politician of any stripe that bloviates over the next few months and demand solid solutions to the real problems you and I face every day. Not the syrupy nonsense offered above.
Where, you may ask, do I get off presuming to be qualified to judge this stuff?
I used to be paid to write that kind of twaddle.
Ivan Morgan can be reached at ivan.morgan@gmail.com